You have been busy! And in such a GOOD way. Wonderful, new start. Strong writing and images. Nice pacing, creepy feel. Based on the opening scene, it feels like you’re writing a more hard-boiled mystery now rather than anything “cozy.” I’d say keep the writing throughout just as strong and fast-paced. Keep backstory to a minimum and only when absolutely necessary to move story and character.
New title feels right with this beginning. I like it.
One nitpick: I had to read the sentence with the word “obstruction’s” several times before I got your bigger meaning–that you’re talking about the hater’s perceived nemesis. I took it more literally — an obstructed jugular which made no sense.
Congratulations, M! Love this work! I’m betting the agents will too. XXOO
Thanks for the feedback, Mary. I agree about the way I used “obstruction’s jugular” and will change it. Don’t want readers to have to work to get my drift!
Ha-ha! Even funnier is I’ve decided to change the title and the beginning again. Yet again. I should learn my lesson and stop posting manuscript updates until the book’s nearing actual publication. Live and learn!
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You have been busy! And in such a GOOD way. Wonderful, new start. Strong writing and images. Nice pacing, creepy feel. Based on the opening scene, it feels like you’re writing a more hard-boiled mystery now rather than anything “cozy.” I’d say keep the writing throughout just as strong and fast-paced. Keep backstory to a minimum and only when absolutely necessary to move story and character.
New title feels right with this beginning. I like it.
One nitpick: I had to read the sentence with the word “obstruction’s” several times before I got your bigger meaning–that you’re talking about the hater’s perceived nemesis. I took it more literally — an obstructed jugular which made no sense.
Congratulations, M! Love this work! I’m betting the agents will too. XXOO
Thanks for the feedback, Mary. I agree about the way I used “obstruction’s jugular” and will change it. Don’t want readers to have to work to get my drift!
I could almost hear gene Pitney singing “town without pity” as I read on.
Ha-ha! Even funnier is I’ve decided to change the title and the beginning again. Yet again. I should learn my lesson and stop posting manuscript updates until the book’s nearing actual publication. Live and learn!